Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
