well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
