where am i from again
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
