At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
