He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize