I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
