It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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