Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
