what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
