I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
