ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
