I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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