You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I use my feet as sexual weapons
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
