there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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