you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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