I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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