why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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