singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
