Sacagawea was the original milf.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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