Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
