i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
