FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
