How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
