I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
