vagina is talking i cant
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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