Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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