her vagine was all disorganized.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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