Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
