haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
