I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
