i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Mom said you looked used
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
