her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
