remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
