it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
