hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
