Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
