somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
