Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
