the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Are we still banned from the library?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
