Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
