it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
