How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
