wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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