I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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