D3 body, D1 cock
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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