I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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