We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
