dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Small penises have feelings too.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
