i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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