I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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