Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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