had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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